“You watch Lesbian films?”
This question is honestly one of my biggest pet peeves. And it’s always said in the exact same tone of voice. As though it is completely surprising and kind of… I’d hate to say wrong, because I like to believe that people aren’t that stupid, but at the same time, there is always this patronizing streak to that question.
“No, actually I don’t watch films or read books that I can relate to. Where I understand the characters. Who would want to do that?”
I mean, do you not watch films with straight protagonists? Do you not try and watch the films where you are most likely to get a connection to the story or characters? Of course you do! Because that is the entire point of watching or reading anything. You want to dive into something and be thrilled for a few hours of your day by someone elses life. And the best way to get that is to somehow connect to it. Whether it is something you seek in your own life, or something you yourself has experienced.
My best mate asked me once if I think that a film is better if there is a gay storyline in it (I’d just like to say that there is a difference between my best friend asking me this question rather than someone I barely know. (Obviously, I mean on several occasion the boy has told me that if he ever has a daughter he hopes she turns out to be gay)). And to some extent the answer is yes. Though I’d like to modify the question a bit. Do I enjoy the film more? Probably. And I often seek out films with gay storylines. And I will admit to giving films that I’ve originally shut down a second chance upon hearing that there are gay characters in it. Because the thrill of it all becomes heightened. Because that is the kind of connection to the world that I can understand. That I live.
And I’m not saying that I can’t relate to straight characters. Of course I can (and do on so many occasions), because my sexuality is definitely not my entire identity, but in order to relate fully to a character, it is surprisingly important. It does in some ways become a barrier. Because while I understand love (let’s take rom-coms as an example), it is on some level difficult for me to understand it towards a man. I mean, as a kid I never thought any of the princes were good enough for the princesses (but that doesn’t mean I don’t love the films)!
I think we’ve all experienced that moment when we’re watching or reading something where a character shows up and you are finding yourself drawn to him or her and nodding along to what they are saying or completely understanding their actions. I mean, isn’t that what you wish to get out of things?
I love film. Not a day goes by that I don’t do anything filmrelated. I basically live for it. And I love “straight” films. I do (I kind of have to, with how many films I watch, there is a very sad number of lesbian films out there). And sometimes I can’t stand “gay” films. Sometimes everything sucks and the film is shit, and I’ll admit to that easily. Allow me to rephrase what I said earlier; having a gay storyline doesn’t necessarily make the film better, but it makes it more intriguing. To me. And I’m the one watching it. So please, just think twice before jumping to the conclusion that I am horribly different from yourself. I am actually just the same, the protagonist of my life simply happens to be a woman.
